Archive for the ‘Lifes “challenges”’ Category

As is a many a women out there, I too am a “single mom”…not sure where to start on this topic…being a single mom definitely has its challenges, just the not being able to share the daily tasks- its all me, all the time who my kid(s) want the attention from, to “look mom”, “mom i want”, “mommy can I have…”,”mom I’m bored”…so on and so forth….my specific situation is that I have two wonderful kids- a son who is almost 8 and a daughter who is almost 3- My kids have different dads- my sons dad: TOTAL DEADBEAT never interested in him, has seen him a total of maybe 5 times in his whole 8 years of life…My son also has “high functioning” autism- he was diagnosed when he was 2…For the most part Bryce (my son) is a pretty normal kids….except he does the “hand flapping” sometimes spacey and very hard to get his attention…has had different repetitive movements/behaviors over the years- the most recent, and hasn’t been an issue for the past couple months was licking his thumbs and the outside of his mouth. I was 20 almost 21 when I had Bryce…I didn’t have life, responsibilities, or discipline figured out yet….and so I made a choice, to either drag my baby boy around with me, while I figured out life…or let my parents keep him safe and stable till I got a grip…I chose my parents…and it took me till he was around 3 1/2 to figure out how to keep a job, be responsible about money and to rent a place of my own (with 2 other roommates in a 3 bdrm house). I went back and forth to my parents till I had my own (shared) place…which I could have continued living at if I wanted to…but I was pregnant again- by my then boyfriend- who I (thought) I loved very much….and I wasn’t comfortable staying in the house- all preggo- with friends comin and goin…it wasn’t a “party” house, but it definitely would have been a downer to be the naggy pregnant girl, and then a major bust to bring a baby into the care free, work in the day, have fun at night vibe that house had- so I chose to move back home to my parents to finish my pregnancy and bring my 2nd child home there- till my “baby daddy” and I worked out some personal issues and figured out how to combine our finances ect…which we did when our daughter was 6months old. So…that was a couple of years ago- and here I sit, in the same place he and I got together, but he moved out over a year and a half ago because I threw all his cheating, lieing, sneaky shit out one day 🙂 My son still lives at my parents- and will continue to do so, until it is in his best interest to move with me…just want to add- a big factor with autism is stability, comfort…my parents house is the only home he has ever known, and they live in a great city with a great school system- so he is in 2nd grade at a really good elementary school…oh, and has his own room, and yeah- he is better where he is…So I live not even 5-10mins away, in a not so great city, but not in the worst part of the city…in a one bedroom lil cottage type place with my daughter- I share a room with her- I got her a cute little toddler bed, after having her crib next to my bed….which- ever sense her daddy moved out, i have let her sleep in bed with me for the most part- so her little toddler bed is used as a all her toys are thrown on bed 🙂 anyway- her dad is much different then my sons dad- very involved- very much inlove with his daughter- which I love that he loves her so much- BUT….I don’t really like him! lol….I honestly dont hold grudges from our 3 year relationship against him anymore, but he is the kind of ex boyfriend I would never have spoken to again…if it wasn’t for our daughter….he’s a loving daddy- but he sucks as a co-parent and a financial contributor etc….ahhhh- I’m tired of complaining- forgot what my point was to this blog post- I’ll check back as soon as it comes back to me~

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So I made this account last week….feeling inspired and ready to share something amazing with the world….maybe make my mark on the minds of many…..but that feeling, was a little discouraged while having to stop and think and decide on a theme, details, menu’s and tags etc….

I have really been trying to get myself to write/type a daily journal- of the cute/silly things my kids say- that light up my day…and of the moments, I can swear I have figured out one of life’s mystery’s…come to some understanding about something….but within a blink of an eye….forgotten…gone to the place all my most powerful thoughts go

So maybe me making this blog, is my window to my soul- so my mind will give me back my deepest thoughts- and instead of maintaining this “still learning” lifestyle, I can embark on the true adventures of life- with clear mind and open eyes.

Laura 09/25/11